Kentucky

I went to KY and did my job shadow interview. I got down there and they were like ok lets go, because the job was going door to door of certain at&t customers to see if they wanted to switch their cable to the new uverse. Exciting stuff right there.  The day actually wasn't bad, and I was entertained as we walked door to door, talked to customers and witnessed  an accounting manager train a new person.  The day ended and I felt confident about my interactions and was informed that I would know if I received the job the next afternoon.  Driving home I knew I had to decide if I actually wanted this job before they called me.

Even though I enjoyed my day, I wasn't a fan of what the work entailed.  I envisioned myself down the road and I wasn't a fan of what I saw.  I'd be a business focused individual, learning how to play people in order to make a sale and make my commission. Also the work hours were M-F from 11-8 and Sat 10:30-5:30 so it knocked out my opportunity to be involved with after school programs or other evening volunteer opportunities.  The only plus side I was seeing of this was the pay check. And that wasn't enough to convince me to say yes.

They called like they said they would.  I personally didn't think I got the job, but as the praise continued from the assistant manager, she informed me that I had gotten the job! I was excited, even tho I decided to decline, because their was an ample amount of people that applied.  It was a nice lil self esteem boost to let me realize I can get a job.  Some might think I'm crazy for saying no especially since the pay was really good, but I just couldn't find contentment with a good pay check.  I know Jesus has instilled in me this passion to work with people through their struggles and that I'll find the job that does that.  Even if it means a boring office job and then just volunteering afterwards.

Interviews

So I did another job interview.  And as I was asked the questions of what I see myself doing and what are my ultimate career goals.  I found myself spewing out things like I don't care about moving up the social ladder; I just want to be able to find a good organization to work with people; and have my benefits consist of seeing people make changes toward the better.  The manager interviewing me was like "oh, you have such a big heart, the world would be a much better place if people were like you." I don't know if that's true.  I just think we should all use our talents to help others and not constantly make personal gains.  To be honest, I think he was slightly confused at first when I was informing him of my goals, because the interview was for a marketing and sales job.

I'm still kinda confused why I did the interview myself, but it happened.  I was going through the list of jobs and this one said "sense of humor needed!" in the job title so I applied just because.  It was kind of a joke.  Then what do you know I got a phone interview and passed and now have a second job shadow interview Wednesday.  I have no idea if I'll get the job or if I truly do want it, but I'm leaving the door open. Jesus knows what He's doing. This wouldn't be an awful opportunity for me, it would actually be a good one.  Its a entree level training job so I'd learn how to do management, which could help if I actually want to have my own NPO or run a NPO.  I just wouldn't be able to work with an organization that was making a difference. And I also applied to other jobs of organizations I would love to work with, but I have no idea where I stand with those.  I'm just going to have to be patient and see what happens this next week.

Blogs

So half the time I write a blog I have no idea what I'm going to say or how it is going to end.  I just know that I have thoughts all meshed up in my brain and need to get them out somehow.  Sometimes I don't even realize what I put in my blog until I go back and read it later and then I'm like "oh, huh that's what I was thinking?"  I still occasionally go back to my old DC/Thailand blog and see what I was going through and how Jesus helped straighten me out.  I find my old random confused thoughts to be encouraging or helpful in a situation.

I don't know what I'm doing, I slide by the skin of my teeth all the time.  And I think I'm ok with it.  It allows for Jesus to constantly intervene in my life. Granted I would love for my next few years to be figured out, but their not and I'm never going to know the future.  I always find it hilarious when people are like you don't know what you're doing, you're so organized. Ha. no.  I might be organized, but that doesn't mean I have my life figured out.  Jesus is planning my life everyday and I'm just along for the ride and I hope to shine His light during it all.

Change and Moving Forward

I was talking with a friend about changes after college and how they're going to be so different and at times terrifying as all get out.  In my head its still summer vacation, nothing has really changed from all the other years.  Except that I'm done with school and now have to start being a responsible adult.  I don't think graduation will fully kick in until I have a job and its August and I'm not back at my beloved alma mater.

As the conversation continued, I realized that the change wasn't the sad and scary part for me.  The part I struggle with is leaving Greenville behind.  I had a great time there and made amazing friendships I don't want to move on from, but the time for our ties to severe happened.  I know friendships will still continue even if we can't see each other all the time, but its going to be different.  And as much as Greenville loves that different is good, I'm not a fan of this difference.  I am excited for what the future holds for me and the impact I'll be able to make on society.  Yet there's a part of me that is clinging on to Greenville and making it difficult for me to move forward.

I did this last summer when I interned with Wycliffe and it sucked.  I was constantly thinking about Greenville and wanting it to be there that I was miserable at times.  Just because I couldn't embrace what was going on around me.  After that summer I told myself I never wanted to do that and I've done really well this summer.  Its all about finding a balance and not letting my brain get stuck in the past and not able to do things in the present.  Yes I would love for all my Greenville people to live around me and maybe in the same house, but that's not how life goes.  I need to cherish the memories and still continue on with my life.  I can't go back and the road to try to go back is just sad dark place.

Results.

Heartlight called me back the beginning of this week and informed me that I didn't get the job.  And I was fine with it, because after I had gone down and visited I couldn't decide if I like the program or not.  I was constantly trying to find ways to be content with it, but didn't get much head way.  Before the call I came to the conclusion if Jesus really wanted me there I would get it.  Then they called and a wave of relief came upon me.  Granted I think working with troubling teens would be amazing, but just not in that environment.  I know Jesus has plans for me and a better job will come along.  I just gotta continue my searching and see what happens.

Texas Interview

I went down to Texas this week to do my interview with Heartlight and spend some time with this ministry and see how it operates on a daily basis.

Overall I think the interview and trip went good, I won't know anything until next week.  I have a multitude of thoughts and reactions to the three days I went and witnessed this ministry and possible place of work.  At first it was a little overwhelming, but as the time went on that went away and I was able to see how it functioned and question what the future held for me. I know that this will be a hard challenging job if I do get it, but I also know that it will be one of the most rewarding jobs.  I'll be able to see transformations in these teenagers lives.
I tend to be a verbal processor and I usually don't know my point until I've said or wrote all that's in my head.  Going down to Heartlight allowed me to talk and process with other staff members why I should work there and reminded me of why I wanted to work with youth in the beginning.  Which is basically, we have a crappy society and if we want to change it, we need to get our hands dirty and help others and ourselves change of the better.  I learned from my favorite professor at Greenville and my senior project on juvenile delinquency that in order to help a youth change they need mentors and people to help guide them.  Along with my Thailand trip I realized I'm not called to work overseas, but in the states with issues I know and can help.  I also realized how other little things in my life helped lead up to this event.

I have no idea if I got the job, but that is some of what happened on my adventure. to Texas.